In her book “Creating Connection”, marital therapist Susan Johnson asserts that relationship problems arise when one or both partners’ need for safety and security in the relationship are not met. If you want your relationship to last forever, you need to work on being that safe and secure person that your partner would long to go home to after a difficult day. You would be the shoulder to cry on when they’re hurt, or the best friend they can share their deepest thoughts and feelings with. Here are a few things you can do to develop a safe and lasting relationship:
Love your partner unconditionally. Accept their flaws and strange habits. Validate how they are feeling even if it does not make sense to you. Let go of minor irritants and discuss important issues objectively and lovingly.
Have other sources of strength, such as close friends, your parents, or God. So when your partner is having a bad day, you can still love unconditionally because you can “recharge” from another source.
Be honest and faithful. Nothing can destroy a relationship faster than a painful betrayal of trust. If you find your heart straying, discuss this openly with your partner before it progresses into an affair. Examine what is missing in your relationship that you can work on together.
If you feel that your relationship is on the rocks, a counselor may be able to help you sort out your differences and build up your relationship.